THE LITTLE KITTY TIMES

Hello random citizens, er, I mean, great friends. Yep, that's it. Great friends. But anyway, a fantastic new movie just came out! It's called Karate Kitten the Movie! Mwa ha ha ha ha! Take that evil lady! Er, I mean, it's an excellent film, and you should really watch it! I hope you enjoy it and keep reading THE LITTLE KITTY TIMES!

                  Yours truly, Mr Whiskers

Man, those stupid people! If it weren't for them, I'd still be tanning on a beach in Hawaii! You shut up! What? What do you mean they can hear everything I'm saying? How do I shut this off? Red button? What red button? Oh here it-

Mr. Whiskers's secret spy

       THE LITTLE KITTY TIMES

This is breaking news! It's Mr. Whiskers's secret to scoops! Mr. Whiskers has a spy! He's everywhere! When the spy went to England, he was there! When the spy went to Holland, you can guess who she saw. Any guesses? Mr. Whiskers! The spy is none other than Anya! You can occasionally spot her in The Little Kitty Times! He checks on her to hear her report! Surprised? I thought so. Hopefully, you don't go looking for him. He doesn't like to be noticed. I'd like to see his face if he knew I'm telling you this. That would be hilarious! Here's a hint: Next time, we may tell some secrets about Mr. Whiskers. He has a whole secret life you know nothing about. Tee hee.

                      - Snookums

Cat Treats

THE LITTLE KITTY TIMES

Everyone knows cat treats are bad. ... However, Tabitha the cat thinks otherwise. She makes the odd claim that cat treats are good! How very strange! We just happen to have a quote from the scene: "Are you kidding me? Because you don't like them, no one else can like them?! What the-" Uh, that will be all from Tabitha today. Just because I don't have enough money for them, doesn't mean I... Ahhh! You're still typing?! Why you little- I mean,

              Yours truly,Mr. Whiskers

               

A New Bridge

          THE LITTLE KITTY TIMES               

Today, a new bridge has been discovered. Somehow, it strongly resembles a human being... Oh well, it must have been my imagination! However, it has been found stopping cats in their tracks! What could this mean?! Just look at the picture! That doesn't look like a human at all!

           Yours truly, Mr. Whiskers

Fooled

                                                       THE LITTLE KITTY TIMES

This is Mr.Whiskers, and if you read my last post, well, did I fool you? I thought so. Now don't get mad! It was just a joke! A hilarious one! I can't believe I actually fooled you guys! Tabitha isn't really a witch, and Snookums isn't really a warlock. And of course, Morgan Le Fay isn't real!  . . . Unless of course she is! (Typewriter falls over.) It doesn't matter whether you believe in her or not. I hope you liked my last paper anyway!   . . . I sure did! It sure was funny, at least to me!!! Maybe not you guys.

Yours (Giggle) truly (Snicker) Mr.Whiskers

WITCH!!!

                                                        THE LITTLE KITTY TIMES

This is breaking news! Tabitha was originally owned by a witch, and has proven to be one herself! Unfortunately, now she and and Snookums (Proven to be a warlock, but, but, but I trusted him. . .) are coming after me for announcing this, so this may be a short paper.   . . . Surprised? I thought so. Well get a load of this: Yes, Tabitha was owned by a witch, but she stays with her whenever her other owners are gone, she visits the witch. TABITHA'S part may be shocking, but the witch is none-other than MORGAN LE FAY!!!! Yes, I'm serious, and I'm not crazy ether. So, if Tabitha's other owners are reading this, STOP THIS EVIL CAT!!!! Sorry, I may gotten a little out of control. . . So, if you're reading this, avoid Tabitha at ALL COSTS!!!! No. This time I'm not overreacting. Just, don't tell her I said this.
                Yours truly, Mr.Whiskers(Who may not see you tomorrow.)

Tabitha's Unknown Age

                                                         THE LITTLE KITTY TIMES

    

Hello. I'm back. Yes, this is Mr.Whiskers. Anything interesting happen while I was gone? No? Guess not. But anyway, we have breaking news!b A photo was saved from Word War 2.  It appears to be a rather cute- er, I mean, a odd-looking black cat. It also has the message: Until your eyes get used to the darkness, take it east. Look out in the blackout. Wait, what's this? I'm get a report. . . WHAT?! THIS CAT IS THEE TABITHA?! Ewww. . . That was, like, 60 HUMAN YEARS AGO!! . . . And to think I'm  always blabbering on and on about how gorgeous she is, I had the hugest crush on her, but now. . . . . . How old is she? Wait, don't tell me. I don't want to know.    . . .  Please excuse me while I go vomit. . . Ahhhh. . . That's better.

Yours truly, though completely disgusted, Mr.Whiskers