Mr. Whiskers's secret spy

       THE LITTLE KITTY TIMES

This is breaking news! It's Mr. Whiskers's secret to scoops! Mr. Whiskers has a spy! He's everywhere! When the spy went to England, he was there! When the spy went to Holland, you can guess who she saw. Any guesses? Mr. Whiskers! The spy is none other than Anya! You can occasionally spot her in The Little Kitty Times! He checks on her to hear her report! Surprised? I thought so. Hopefully, you don't go looking for him. He doesn't like to be noticed. I'd like to see his face if he knew I'm telling you this. That would be hilarious! Here's a hint: Next time, we may tell some secrets about Mr. Whiskers. He has a whole secret life you know nothing about. Tee hee.

                      - Snookums

Cat Treats

THE LITTLE KITTY TIMES

Everyone knows cat treats are bad. ... However, Tabitha the cat thinks otherwise. She makes the odd claim that cat treats are good! How very strange! We just happen to have a quote from the scene: "Are you kidding me? Because you don't like them, no one else can like them?! What the-" Uh, that will be all from Tabitha today. Just because I don't have enough money for them, doesn't mean I... Ahhh! You're still typing?! Why you little- I mean,

              Yours truly,Mr. Whiskers

               

A New Bridge

          THE LITTLE KITTY TIMES               

Today, a new bridge has been discovered. Somehow, it strongly resembles a human being... Oh well, it must have been my imagination! However, it has been found stopping cats in their tracks! What could this mean?! Just look at the picture! That doesn't look like a human at all!

           Yours truly, Mr. Whiskers

Fooled

                                                       THE LITTLE KITTY TIMES

This is Mr.Whiskers, and if you read my last post, well, did I fool you? I thought so. Now don't get mad! It was just a joke! A hilarious one! I can't believe I actually fooled you guys! Tabitha isn't really a witch, and Snookums isn't really a warlock. And of course, Morgan Le Fay isn't real!  . . . Unless of course she is! (Typewriter falls over.) It doesn't matter whether you believe in her or not. I hope you liked my last paper anyway!   . . . I sure did! It sure was funny, at least to me!!! Maybe not you guys.

Yours (Giggle) truly (Snicker) Mr.Whiskers

WITCH!!!

                                                        THE LITTLE KITTY TIMES

This is breaking news! Tabitha was originally owned by a witch, and has proven to be one herself! Unfortunately, now she and and Snookums (Proven to be a warlock, but, but, but I trusted him. . .) are coming after me for announcing this, so this may be a short paper.   . . . Surprised? I thought so. Well get a load of this: Yes, Tabitha was owned by a witch, but she stays with her whenever her other owners are gone, she visits the witch. TABITHA'S part may be shocking, but the witch is none-other than MORGAN LE FAY!!!! Yes, I'm serious, and I'm not crazy ether. So, if Tabitha's other owners are reading this, STOP THIS EVIL CAT!!!! Sorry, I may gotten a little out of control. . . So, if you're reading this, avoid Tabitha at ALL COSTS!!!! No. This time I'm not overreacting. Just, don't tell her I said this.
                Yours truly, Mr.Whiskers(Who may not see you tomorrow.)

Tabitha's Unknown Age

                                                         THE LITTLE KITTY TIMES

    

Hello. I'm back. Yes, this is Mr.Whiskers. Anything interesting happen while I was gone? No? Guess not. But anyway, we have breaking news!b A photo was saved from Word War 2.  It appears to be a rather cute- er, I mean, a odd-looking black cat. It also has the message: Until your eyes get used to the darkness, take it east. Look out in the blackout. Wait, what's this? I'm get a report. . . WHAT?! THIS CAT IS THEE TABITHA?! Ewww. . . That was, like, 60 HUMAN YEARS AGO!! . . . And to think I'm  always blabbering on and on about how gorgeous she is, I had the hugest crush on her, but now. . . . . . How old is she? Wait, don't tell me. I don't want to know.    . . .  Please excuse me while I go vomit. . . Ahhhh. . . That's better.

Yours truly, though completely disgusted, Mr.Whiskers

A Celebrity on the Show

                                                       THE LITTLE KITTY TIMES

Hee hee hee. I have escaped the wrath of the dreaded Mr.Whiskers. Mr.Whiskers is sick today,(yeah, sick with embarrassment, hee hee hee.)so I am taking his place. Hmm? The picture? Well, we'll get to that in about two sentences. I, am Tabitha. (Yes, thee Tabitha. No gasping, please.) This picture is of me. Yes. We finally get to talk about how I feel. I have to agree with Snookums: Mr.Whiskers, not my type. This picture is how he sees me. Well, this picture is how I see him. 

Let him know, and you get a free autograph from me.

- Tabitha

A Note From Snookums, the Typewriter

                                                     THE LITTLE KITTY TIMES

I know what you're probably thinking: Great. It's that dumb Mr.Whiskers guy again. Just great. Well, if you thought that, you're wrong. I, am Snookums, and I do the typing. Mr.Whiskers is probably going to kill me for this later, but here goes, I'm here to tell you about his crush on Tabitha. Let's face it. Tabitha, is rich, famous, and popular, Mr.Whiskers, not so much. He's been blabbering on and on about her for, like, EVER. But come on, Mr.Whiskers's looks. . . er. . . not so great. So if you're reading this, and if you see Mr.Whiskers sometime, tell him his crush is a stupid, ridiculous, and impossible, OK? Also, let me know who you like better, marvelous me,. . . or. . . Mr.Whiskers.
                         - Snookums

Beauty Contest

                                                       THE LITTLE KITTY TIMES                                                                              

Tabitha has once again won the Catbridge Beauty Contest, and just as easily, too. Well, of course she won, considering that GORGEOUS face of hers- er, I mean, with her silky fur. Tabitha is  an eight times winner in this beauty contest, so it's no surprise she won. Also, look at how simply bea-utiful she is. . .(sigh)OOPS! SNOOKUMS! HOW MANY TIMES HAVE I TOLD YOU TO NOT KEEP TYPING WHEN I'M DAY-DREAMING ABOUT THE GORGEOUS TABITHA?! Heh, heh. Do me a favor and forget I said that. Sooo. . . hope you'll watch next year's beauty contest.
                  Yours truly, Mr.Whiskers

World Record!

                                                   THE LITTLE KITTY TIMES

 Heh heh, this is embarrassing. Anyway, Tabitha has done it again. She has done something no-one else has ever done! She has made it out of Catbridge and into the human world. It's incredible! It's amazing! It's just what I'd expect from a GORGEOUS- er, I mean, a great scientist like her! It may be a mystery what she will discover next, but what's not a mystery is that she is DEFINITELY the best cat-scientist ever to grace our beautiful planet, Catnipia. Don't be disappointed if you don't climb as far as Tabitha on the ladder of success, just look at me. You know you won't climb very far if you are 10 human years old (my age) and you're still dreaming about this.

(Just replace that white cat with Tabitha and you've got my dream.)

Yours truly, Mr.Whiskers

The Great Discovery

                                                         THE LITTLE KITTY TIMES                                                               

While it is true Tabitha is a mystery, she is still a great scientist and has helped us discover many great things. Tabitha has made yet another amazing discovery:"outside."Apparently there's more to life than tuna, naps, and staying clean. Tabitha's discovery has proven that there is an outside world, filled with many strange creatures and interesting,(not to mention dirty)objects, and some are connected to the Earth! Yuck. I think I'll stay inside- wait, what's this? WHAT?! You're saying    the gorgeous TABITHA is there?! My life-long crush?! I'm GOING!! Are you SURE?! OH MY GOSH! I'm FINALLY going to get a chance to talk to (sigh) HER. . . Wait WHAT?! YOU'RE STILL TYPING?! AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!!!! QUICK! TURN IT OFF BEFORE YOU DO ANYTHING MORE STUPID!!!! 

Yours truly, Mr.Whiskers

Innocent

                                                    THE  LITTLE  KITTY  TIMES

Yes, Tabitha has done many awful things, but, after weeks of searching, we have finally found the cause for these bad deeds. Apparently, Tabitha was mad because she was forced to wear a deadly torture device called (SHUDDER) a collar. This photo clearly shows this device around her neck as she  attacks her first victim. As always, here is a quote from her owners on the scene:"Uhhhhh. . . heh heh. . . it wasn't me. . . TAKE CAMILLE INSTEAD!!!" As you can see, this quote clearly shows that her owner is guilty, am I right? I'm right. I like to answer my own questions, isn't that right? Yes. Anyway. . . heh heh back to subject, Anya is clearly guilty and the cause of this terrible device. Hopefully you all feel the same way.
                   Yours truly, Mr.Whiskers

Wanted

                                                       THE LITTLE KITTY TIMES
                           

Tabitha the cat may look cute and fuzzy, but can you look into those eyes and not see those of a mass murderer?! If you want evidence, just look at what she did to that string! Tabitha has also been spotted attacking a small dog, a dolphin, Big Toe, Jeero, Squinkies, chairs, pipe-cleaners, and Kram Scrammy. Call her innocent all you want, but that won't prove anything. We have a quote from her owners on the scene:"Seriously?! She attacks some toys and furniture and just like that she's guilty?! You've got to be kidding me!" My fellow felines, isn't she clearly guilty?
                  Yours truly, Mr.Whiskers 

An Interview With Tabitha

                                                        THE LITTLE KITTY TIMES

We have breaking news! Tabitha the cat has given us the shocking report that she actually likes living with people! This shocking report was found in an interview with Tabitha herself! She said and I quote:"I like having my human slaves pet my back, plus, they come with free canned tuna, protection from dogs, and mini jungles! Who doesn't like that?" But, the real question is, could living with humans be possible?! The answer is yet to be discovered.
                  Yours truly, Mr.Whiskers

Tabitha's Unappreciated Will

                                                        THE LITTLE KITTY TIMES

Tabitha the cat has once again been found being held against her will. Her owner claims this isn't true,we have no real evidence against her, and we don't have the right to make this claim, but just look at the picture! Tabitha is clearly trying to escape, and is being held against her will, but her owner shows no sign of caring.Her court session is tomorrow, but my fellow felines, we both know she's guilty, isn't that right? Finally, the moment you've been waiting for, a quote from the scene:"I'm innocent! Those pictures were fake! Besides, it was just that once!"

Wrong again, Tommy Boy.

Yours truly, Mr.Whiskers

The World's Cutest Cat

THE LITTLE KITTY TIMES

Tabitha the cat has once again been reported cute. This picture is pure evidence from the scene. As a result, Tabitha is definitely cute. We have a quote from one of her owners on the scene:"Not for sale."This quote has depressed many for they all want this cat.This photo was taken in oceanside, California, but she was last seen in Catbridge, U.K. So if you want a glimpse of the world's cutest cat, just come to Catbridge, and you will be sure to see her. 
                   Yours truly, Mr.Whiskers